Bull in a china shop
I really struggle with motivation. I am one of those people that leaves doing that thing till the last minute, when you have minimal time to do it in. It gets rushed and either I massively wing it (which is a general theme) or sometimes it just doesn’t get done. I chastise myself; I should be more organised, next time I’ll give myself plenty of time to do it in. But I am just kidding myself. It’ll never happen.
At work I’m completely different. I’m super organised, sometimes quite anal (I am an analyst after all). But at home and in my personal life that goes straight out of the window. I am also mega clumsy. This is what tends to cause the clumsy accidents I regularly have. Without realising it, I take short cuts, or if I’m in a rush due to my ‘I’ve got plenty of time, oh crap no I don’t’ attitude things get broken or I injure myself. Walking into doors in a favourite of mine. I misjudge door handles ALOT and regularly whack my elbow, or get my sleeve stuck on the handle. It’s like a comedy of errors. A slapstick comedy show. Accept the only one around to laugh is me and I’m usually doubled over in pain clutching at a part of me that has just been the victim to my lack of spatial awareness and unnecessary rushing around.
I break a lot of wine glasses. Even though I may look like a delicate flower (joke) I am like a stampede of herding elephants around the house. I had broken all but one of my wine glasses, so decided to treat myself to a box of six new ones, although purposefully spent under £10 knowing that they will all eventually get broken. Do you know how many I have left? Three. I broke the first one whilst taking them out of the box and putting them in the cupboard. I kid you not. The other two I broke whilst washing up. Now my mother will say the reason for this is because they were cheap glasses and if I spent a bit more on good quality glass, then I wouldn’t have broken. I know that the reason is, because I’m fucking clumsy.
I broke my shoes yesterday. Yes shoes plural. I spent about £40 on a pair of simple black leather heels for work. I’ve had them about 6 months. They live under my desk, so I only wear them in the office for walking around, they rarely get walked outside for any long period of time. I was having a particularly stressful day at work and whilst walking down some stairs, the leather on both shoes just ripped. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like my feet suddenly had an Incredible Hulk moment and burst their way out of my shoes, except they didn’t. I just somehow stepped in an awkward way so that my shoes fell apart. I’ve heard of heels breaking (miraculously never happened to me) but this was a new one on me.
I could go on regaling tales of my clumsiness but I’d be here for hours and you’ve probably got stuff to be getting on with. I wish I could control myself better. Have less random bruises and broken things. I do try my hardest to be more careful and take more time with things, but this does not come naturally to me. But I’ve now learnt to accept my inherited lack of spatial awareness and general blundering uncoordinatedness. It’s part of me. Just never invite me along to pick out your new set of China tea cups or ask me to clean your set of antique crystal glasses. It will not end well.