Let’s talk dirty for a minute. I’m gonna throw some words out there and have you think on them for a bit, let me know how they make you feel. Sexism. Feminism. Gender equality. Yeah, sorry to disappoint. This post isn’t going to be about sex. Well it is, but not the hot, sweaty, roll around coital kind.
I’ve been reading a lot of social media posts recently, not for want of looking, but those that have been coming up in my Facebook feed. About consent. About men learing over women. About genital mutilation laws that affect women and not men. As a girl I am drawn to these posts, I do believe that women and men should be treated as they would want to be treated. As people, as humans, as individuals. Not how society or history wants or thinks they should be treated.
There was an interesting article recently on consent. ‘Anything less than a yes is a no”. A very clever lady on the internet wrote an article about it and likened it to asking someone if they’d like a cup of tea. (You can find the full article here http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/emmeline-may/consent-cup-of-tea_b_6838652.html).
I bloody love tea (and sex). But I would like to make the decision about whether I would like either thank you very much. Essentially, some people don’t like tea. Some people aren’t thirsty. Sometimes, you might want a cup of tea but by the time someone makes it, you’ve gone off the idea. This does not make you a tea-tease, you’ve just changed your mind. Just because you’ve had a cup of tea yesterday, doesn’t mean you want a cup of tea today. Oh and just so you know, you should never force someone to drink a cup of tea when they don’t want it, especially if they’re asleep. Sounds simple right? But when it comes to sex, apparently this gets confusing.
If you’re a woman, you have probably at some point in your life been ‘cat-called’. Leered at, wolf-whistled at, even maybe have a car horn beep at you. This is supposed to be a compliment. It’s an odd concept. Maybe some women find it a compliment. Oh look that man has whistled at me today, I must be looking pretty today. But it’s not about that, it’s far more primal. When groups of men get together, it is apparently socially acceptable to shout and jeer at women. They generally only do it when they’re in packs. I’m not sure what it’s meant to achieve. Do they think that by doing this, that a girl will run over to their group and say “Wow, thanks for that. Did I hear that one of you wanted to fuck me? Well sure, that’s a lovely offer, here’s my number.” Seriously? I have seen a hilarious video of a woman dressed up, short skirt, heels strutting past a building site. Construction workers doing all they can to get this girls attention and when they do she lifts up her skirt, revealing that ‘she’ is actually a ‘he’. Brilliant. Taught them a lesson in a hilarious way! But essentially, in the grand scheme of things, it probably didn’t. This sort of behaviour will inevitably continue, until something changes. A lady in Brazil has come up with a genius solution, to pull a face at anyone leering at her. It seems to be having a good effect and I implore you to try it and report back about the sort of reactions you get! http://www.thejournal.ie/brazil-toothy-face-2004792-Mar2015/
My friend and fellow blogger https://aimeesbrainspace.wordpress.com wrote a compelling blog article which got published on the Huffington Post (yay well done her) on the fact that the Department of Health in the UK is making any sort of piercing to female genitalia a form of female genital mutilation, which they are making illegal. Despite the fact that a lot of people pay good money to have this done which is fully consensual. (Read her full article here http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/aimee-gander/fgm-lets-not-get-distracted_b_6900868.html Don’t get me wrong, actual forced FGM is wrong and horrendous and something needs to be done to stop it. But making voluntary piercings illegal? That is ridiculous.
Does this make me a feminist? Probably. Although I don’t really like labels. Labels are where it gets complicated. I am in a hetrosexual relationship. I like to make dinner for my boyfriend. I also like it when he makes me dinner. I like it when he holds doors open for me, but I also hold doors open for him, old people, people with pushchairs and everyone else in between. It’s just called respect. It’s not a complicated subject, but I think somewhere along the line people are confused as to what gender equality, or just equality in general means.
I like being a girl, a woman. Growing up I hated it. I went through I tomboy stage where I literally would wear my brother’s clothes (despite the fact he was 12 years older than me). I wanted to be a boy, they had it so easy! I hated my body, I hated my face, I hated the hormones, the emotions and everything else that comes with being a female. But then something happened and I started to love myself a bit more. Don’t get me wrong, there are still parts of myself, physically and psychologically that I’d like to change, but they make me who I am. I’m an individual, I’m unique. There is no other person in the world or the universe that is like me (or you for that matter). That’s pretty fucking special if you ask me. But it’s not just about females. Or males. Or all the people in between. It’s about us as people. Everyone needs to love themselves a bit more. If we stopped worrying about what other people think and starting trying to make ourselves happy, rather than everyone else, the world would be a better place. Treat others how you wish to me treated and then there is no need to use these ‘dirty’ words. Sounds simple? It is. We just have to convince everyone else that it’s a good idea…..