Being 32 is an odd age. Especially if you’re not married and don’t have children. People expect you to have done at least one of those things. Maybe even have achieved your dream job and bought a house. Well one out of four ain’t bad. I have bought a house, well a flat. We were renting it at the time and sort of accidently on purpose purchased it one day, instead of finding somewhere else to live. Moving day was pretty stress-free, as you can imagine. One day we were renters, the next we were homeowners. Bit of an anti-climax really. But still, it’s ours and it’s home.
Before we bought it, I did a bit of research on mortgages. My god that shit is dull. I sort of understood most of it, but how much do you have to really understand in order to fill out some paperwork and let the solicitors do all the hard work? This is the attitude I have about most aspects of my adult life, what i refer to as ‘life admin’. Like getting post, I’m totally over it. I let my mail pile up and only open things that look interesting. I leave things like defrosting the freezer until it’s too late and it takes 5hrs and a hammer to get through all the ice that’s built up. I loathe sorting out bills, especially at renewal dates and I hate housework. I don’t think I was built to be an adult.
When you’re a kid, you just can’t wait to be all grown up. You think of all the freedom you’ll have, you can do what you want, when you want, there’s no-one to tell you what to do. In reality, that isn’t quite accurate. Instead of going to school, you go to work. Instead of your parents getting you up with a cup of tea, it’s remembering to set 3 alarms and not to accidently turn off the reoccurring snooze buttons. There isn’t anyone to clear up after you, it doesn’t matter how much you ignore the dirty washing or the dishes, you’re still going to have to do it yourself eventually. Sure, you can stay up as late as you want, but in all honesty you’d happily go to bed at 7pm and sleep for 12hrs. You can party every night, but after you turn 25, the hangovers are not what they used to be and you end up regretting staying up till 3am drinking champagne you can’t afford. You can buy whatever food you want, but all the food you like makes you fat. Oh the joys.
As an adult you also get excited about things you never thought you would. Picking out a new sofa, takes fucking weeks. But you’re so proud of it when it arrives. You almost don’t want to sit on it for too long, for fear of smoosching the pillows too much (yes smoosching is a word). Oh did you just manage to re-wire a plug all by yourself? Go you! And when did going afternoon tea become a thing?! Shopping in garden centres, keeping receipts and filling out warranty forms. Oh you’re all responsible now. When the fuck did that happen?
But being an adult isn’t all bad, you do get to do what you want most of the time. You want to go to the zoo? Let’s go to the zoo! Disneyland? Fuck yeah! You want a puppy? Why don’t you get two. You also don’t have to put up with anyone’s shit. At school, you’re sometimes friends with people who are jerks because you’re afraid to rock the boat and want to fit in. As an adult the only one you have to keep happy is yourself. It’s quite refreshing really. And you can learn anything you want. At school, learning is a bit of a ball ache. At University, if you go, is slightly less of a ball ache, but juggling your social life with study can be tricky. Surfing down your stairs on an ironing board and having piggy back races drunk as a skunk, kind of gets in the way of writing a successful dissertation. But I’ve got to a point in my life where I like learning stuff now and I want to learn new things, even if it’s taken me 20 years to realise it.
The best thing about being an adult, is that if you’re unhappy and don’t like your life, you can change it. You can sell your house, buy an orchard in France and sell apples to brandy connoisseurs. Sounds ridiculous? Maybe. But it’s do-able. And it actually sounds like fun. So, I’m off to have a glass of Calvados and decide how many ponies to keep on my French ranch….